Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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