dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
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If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.