i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!