sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
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Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"