I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
