I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize