in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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