yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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