all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
