Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
