i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I party with great urgency now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
