Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
