the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
