I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
