I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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