summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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