im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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