If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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