YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
