Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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