We won't sleep together?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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