So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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