I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
