gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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