I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
