What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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