Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I currently don't understand fingers.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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