Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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