Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this boner is exhausting
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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