He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
