i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
