you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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