We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
vagina is talking i cant
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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