I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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