why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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