Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
