I wanna bring you to show and tell
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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