She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
