1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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