he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
