And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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