we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
