hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My ATM looks so different sober.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
