dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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