no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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