yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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