all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize