No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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