Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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