My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize