We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
