Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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