Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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