Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Jerry, you need to find god
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
