he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
