I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
