i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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