yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
