Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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