She announced her abortion via fbk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
