I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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