Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
