i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize